Monday, February 27, 2012

My bipolar symptoms

I wanted to commend Private Practice for addressing Bipolar Mood Disorder.  I have never had the experience that Sam's sister had, but I have experienced much of the same symptoms.  I have been extremely depressed to the point of wanting to either hurt myself, or worse, even kill myself,  just to stop the pain.  At such times, I could barely get enough energy together to get out of bed.  I either didn't want to eat, or I would eat until I would throw up.  I would cry for hours. 

Then one day I would become incredibly impulsive, and have an excess amount of energy.  I would shop and didn't care if we had the money or not.  I would go for days without sleeping.  Some people experience euphoria and extreme creativity, but I didn't.  I would come out of my depression enough to enjoy myself, but  quickly the darkness would return.  I have what is called rapid cycling bipolar type I.
This means that I cycle between mania and depression at least 4 times per year.  For me I cyle much faster than that.  I think I have almost twice that many episodes. It really takes a long time to find the right medicines and the right mix.  For me, it took about 2 years.  I think it is important to mention that for some people, like me, it takes frequent tweaking of meds, and regular counseling for me to stay stable. 

In my next post I will discuss post-traumatic-stress disorder and how it affects me.


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